My headache has just went away today. I am successfully transferred to nus env eng. Yay. (Though the appeal thgy only opens up today/ytd 30 may) I did not use any despicable means k just a help from the someone i mentioned in my previous post. Really really thankful. I dun have to consider going to ntu ler. hee. I m looking forward to my life in nus. Dance Blast is really good and i might not be qualified enough to join:( but i still wanna try! Hiphop rocks!

My last tennis lesson was over ytd. Hmms.. I kind of need alot more practice and de slacker coach play a huge part in our current playing standards. Stand and watch us play and give us some comments nia. Hais..

I have watched Accuracy of Death starred by Takeshi Kaneshiro. Though the genres are romance and fantasy, I dun think there is much of a romance inside but rather more of fate. He managed to mit the 3 generations related to the lady, quite hard to say unless u watch de movie. It's a nice movie on the whole but i think it would be better if they could just add somethg more to the ending. Maybe alittle bit more romance? Although Takeshi Kaneshiro isnt that young now, he is stil charming in some ways.He just got some sort of charisma, maybe?

I also watched sex in the city and i know why it is classified under m18. I would recommend gals to watch with their gal frens and guys to watch with their guy frens coz i think some scenes would be quite awkward if u watch with ppl of opposite sex. The storyline has a nice pace and it has covered the lives of the 4 frens, not just focusing on de main female lead and forgetting others like some movies. It's also quite worth de money coz de running time is 145 mins, obviously longer den most western romance or comedy movie.But some parts really ermss... One of the 'ermss' part is the doggy part. Watch it to know what i mean. I wouldnt classify that as cruelty to animals but i wonder what they inject to make de cute doggy do that. Got abit of nudity at some scenes bt it is always accompanied with some humour. lol. It's a really humourous and sweet show. There's a phrase i will rmb de, ' I curse u since the day u were born.' LOL.

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I might take the language proficiency test after all before i start forgetting all of it when i take up jap in uni to prove that i actually learnt korean b4 k. So i could be considered as quad-lingual? hee.

There's something dat i really dun understand until now. Why does she consistently helped me even though i didn't really express much interest at de start? I m just another candidate to her. I rmbed at de start, she asked me to go for de bca-ssss interview but i told her quite frankly that i was waiting for a favourable reply from nus scholarship thgy and i am not certain what course i will choose in de end coz at dat time i was impatiently waiting for nus letter of offer to come. I also somehow expressed my preference of chem eng over env eng. But she still arranged for an interview for me in the morning.Later in de day after de interview, she called to ask me to go for another interview the next day- one dat is more related to env eng rather den civil eng like de one previously But i told her dat i feel quite bad to tk two half-day leave consecutively den she started persuading me and telling me dat de company also dunno to deprive me of the opportunity dat i m given so in the end i took de half day leave. The day when she called to inform and congratulated me, i told her i needed time to think so she just give me like 5 days. The next day she called again to find out de direction of thinking i m going towards. She tried to find out what my concerns were and what i told her was dat i was stil waiting for de reply from nus scholarship and think it thru to make a balanced and proper decision. She also somehow knew i was hesitant on de choice of de course. I mean i was alr rather problematic liao but den the next morn she msged me to ask me to take note of de BCA awards section to let me know how well CDL is doing and de prospects dat de company can actually give me. Ahh.. i alr feel quite bad liao. Den now bcoz appealing takes too long and i die die wan to go nus so she actually had to contact and touch base with de env eng prof leh. See if there is any way besides appealing which doesnt guarantee dat 100% i can get in. Such a picky and hesitant person she is stil willing to help. Why???

As usual, i was going to check my email and slp liao. But today my dad came into my room and saw my letters of offer laid out on the table. Den he started asking stuffs. I know he doesn't know my decision, how bca is helping with my appeal and the course i decided to take up so i tried to summarise whatever is happening. I tot him it would take time to appeal but bca dun have de time to wait til mid june to know if i get de course. He thought i m appealing bcoz i couldnt get in de course. Then he blurted out somethg he know he shouldn't and when he doesn't know anythg. It's something about my results. I mean watching me grow up from young he should have known what kind of topic is very sensitive to me. My tone changed rather instantly and it seemed to him dat i m 'ding zui'. He flared up and obviously i flared up too. He should be happy i m taking up this opportunity. I rmb the day when i knew i was offered this opportunity. My mum knew how much i wanted to get in chem eng at dat time so she asked me to choose a course dat i wun regret but on the other hand my dad said, ' Got money ma. Just accept lor or else where i get the money to sponsor u.' I have reminded him alot of times that there is somethg called bank loan. He said as long can earn money can alr and no need pay tuition fees better. Mine was stil okay even though i wasn't really happy with it. My bro also expressed his interest to pursue tertiary studies after his ns bcoz he regretted his poly choice of course. But wad my dad told him was that since he got his diploma just join the working society, no need to study so much de and de same issue popped up: 'Where to get the money?' After so long my bro finally found out what he wanted and keen to do and what he heard was somethg like dat from my dad. Money is impt but it's not everythg k. I m so pissed. How come everythg my dad said is just based on money. What abt our dreams, goals and passions? It's not like i nv expected this answer from him. He always says, '有钱就好了, 其他的都不重要.' 我不晓得你明不明白, 不是每一件事都能用金钱来衡量的! 我知道我们曾经陷入生活拮据的困境, 但并不代表在以往的生活只在乎钱钱钱. 我非常厌恶也憎恨这样的生活态度.

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I dun agree totally with it even though i put this up. haha.

I kind of came to a decision today. Not 100% sure yet but it is likely to be my final one unless something crops up to waver my decision. It may be abit stupid to give up de first choice dat u got in and have been wanting to get in and now have to go to de extra trouble to appeal for de second one. Coz i am not so sure alr why i like chem eng. Isit bcoz its competitive so if u get in it means u r good? Or it has good prospects? Or i just like de career path it paves for me so more of passion? There was a point in time dat i just wan to get in chem eng and everyday i was just waiting for de letter to come. The crossroad dat i was having which started 2 days ago triggered me to start thinking. Why was i so sure dat chem eng would be my cup of tea and i would not regret taking it? Why do i always prefer chem eng to env eng? Why was i so eager to get in chem eng when i know i dun like and fared badly in organic chem? People always tell us to go for de passion, de interest. But one of my frens told me dat if everyone is able to follow their passion and do things they like, de world will be peaceful. It is also not like i m doing something i absolutely hate. Would it seem quite stupid if i give up an opportunity dat i m given (i mean, hey, working under one of sg big developer is not dat bad after all what) and study something dat i think i would like and in de end to realise i dun really like it. Timing is crucial. Also, now i alr started to suspect my passion for the course i thought i had. But all in all, it still boils down to being practical. Sad but its reality, money indeed makes de world go round. My previous job taught me dat too. Humans' brain are really funny. Ytd i was thinking of giving up this opportunity but tdy i decided to embrace it. Lol. What i m certain of now is dat i like NUS more.

I finaly got into chem eng and i just knew it tdy. It is supposed to be something to be purely happy about BUT i am actually having mixed feelings now coz of another news dat i heard tdy. Both are news worth to be happy about yet i m having a headache now. If I choose one i will lose de choice of another one. Why must they crash? hais. I shall think it through carefully.

I m really starting to panic liao. How come i stil havent receive any letter from nus. Are my results really dat bad.... Now i m starting to think dat perhaps nus lost my database or somethg. lol. I think der is a possibility lor coz i m quite suay de. For example, b4 i went for de nus scholarship interview, the office called up to ask me to scan and email my results and necessary stuffs over which should alr be sent to them in de envelope like one week b4. I wonder how dey handle my docs lor esp so when de envelope was taken to them by hand not thru postage. My fren didnt receive a call like dat. hais. I really really want to get in chem eng. Fingers crossed. Stupid nus caused me to hesitate whether to go for de BCA interview which only accepts env eng - My first choice for ntu and 2nd for nus. Coz i m actually someone who is rather lazy to prepare for interview.

I got a job liao and have worked for a week. The job scope is not too demanding but den the pile of work never seemed to be done. Filing and filing and filing... And isolated from the rest of the people too coz i have my 'own room' (Actually is de private and confidential docs storeroom.. lol). I dun really have the chance to get to know my colleagues better and i am like the only temp staff der so there isnt ppl of my age lor. Working under HR sounds cool hor though i m only a admin assistant der (one who dun need/have the chance to touch de comp). The colleagues i m working with or rather helping to ease their workload or do stuffs dey are quite sick of are really very nice to me. They treated to small stuffs though i just knew them for a few days. Though they tried to involve me into their conversation bt there are still times when i really cannot think of a topic to talk to them. Different job scope and different generation. Another reason is bcoz i m an introvert. Sometimes i really wan to break out of this shell but i dunno how to go abt doing it. Like one of my fren says: 你是那种慢热的人啦. Ppl who dun really know me will think of me as a quiet and worse still, a gentle person. Like wow. But maybe I am really someone likedat but there are ppl who strongly objected to dat lorr. I m really dat opposite meh. I think sometimes i m really very quiet lor. Introvert ma. Gentle arr... dat one really dun suit me. Whenever i heard somethg like dat, I really feel like LOL lor. Going back to de topic abt my job, hmms.. i think i m able to work there happily until end july lor bt den i stil havent have de chance to see de 'big boss' yet coz when i started working der, she was on a 1 wk leave. The others called her monster lor. I shall see for myself how scary she is. The typical 8.30 to 6 job perhaps is more suitable to me as compared to others. Weekends r somethg i look forward to. haha. Coz more time to slp and use comp. Just like when i was still schooling, weekends r de times dat ppl would look forward to. This dun imply i dun like my job la. haha. I actually like it.(Isolation is not de part dat i like lar bt den it can be a good thg lor. hee. u can jump and dance ard in de room w/o ppl seeing. Except some of the times dey need to check some stuff. But den of coz i dun do dat when i work lar. lol)

My tennis skill still not der yet. My passion not as intense when i just started but of coz i wun give up likedat - After investing in a racket and de course. Oh yar.. btw de coach says de string on my tennis racket use for fishing de. Okay lor.. ppl poor mah so no money to buy freaking ex de. Besides dat i m going to take up a korean lang lesson. Just to pei my fren and it's only de basics. It's also not a really formal course. It's taught by someone who just wan more exp in teaching de lang so that he can go and teach in cc. That's why it's only $5 an hour and for me it's more to have fun by learning somethg new. I am too into jap stuffs liao so if i m really investing in a lang course, it will definitely be jap de. I think my jap craze is just beyond my control. I m also considering whether to take up hiphop. It starts next mon lor. hmms. I m scared i m cramming myself up with too many things at once.

I dun think i have really changed bah. Still as abnormal as usual lor but my views and opinions on some stuffs have certainly changed. haha. 我不晓得这改变对我未来会有怎样的影响, 对我以后处事待事的态度会有何变化, 但是这个改变却让我感到比以前更踏实多了, 因为...我不再相信莫须有的事物, 不再去做虚无缥缈的追逐.

我知道的事情比你想像还多. 就因为我知道, 所以对待你的方式无法像以往一样. 我知道自己应该拿得起放得下, 过去的事不去追究, 但我却做不到. 也许我就是那么小心眼的人吧.

Last friday I went for my first tennis course ler. It feels nice to be really exercising after so long of rotting at home. Somethg like PE. How i miss those PE lessons. I want to be able to play tennis haha.

I have finally finished watching 1 litre of tears aka ichi ritoru no namida. I kept on hesitating to watch de drama cz i knew it would be a very emotional and sad one. That's why i was watching other more funny and happy drama b4 i decided to watch this. From this show, I came to know of this scary illness called spinocerebullar degeneration disease. It was a story with nice pace and I find it hard to believe that it was actually based on a true story. For someone with this disease, knowing that her future will be bleak, she could still remain so optimistic and be able to help others with the strength and ability that she had left. Using her diary to touch others and encouraging de others who had de same illness as her were somethg dat most ppl wun think of. The special episode was 2hr 30 min lor, even longer den a movie. But mostly were recaps of the scenes in de episodes and i still could rmb de storylines so ended up skipping most of de parts.
Currently watching proposal daisakusen (operation love). The overview of the story is like dat: I have never watched a drama like dis so I am looking forward to every episodes. Everytime in order to go back in time, he has to say 'Hallelujah! Chance!' with an act cool pose. But he's cool anyway. But really dots lor. lol.

I really want to get into chem and bio-molecular eng course in nus but i heard dat it is a very competitive course. For last year cohort, u have to get 4 'A's to get in. I shall keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Ytd was labour's day. I wouldn't have rmb this day one year ago when we had our camwhoring session at ecp if not for yh. The cycling journey to changi airport is so nice and kind of soothing. There is a countryside touch to de surroundings and I would have thought that I am at some overseas countryside place if not for the scorching weather. We only took some pictures coz there wasn't enough inspiration( as wad de cameraman jon was saying) and not enough time. I wonder when was de last time i came to ecp.