Everythg seemed to be in a mess. The courses i wanted to tk up, my job, chingay which is almost everythg in my post 'A' activities. Either sumthg went wrong wif my time management or my hesitant decision making process or both. After A lvls shld be a time to relax rite bt why i m so bothered by everythg. Things doesnt seem to go right or rather my way. I was gg to quit chingay bcz i was afraid i couldnt commit bt i stil manage to cheng guo qu with lack of slp. For the signing up of de courses i dragged til de last min cz hafto ensure dat everyone else can make it bt thgs dun always go our way. I dun wan to kp dragging or else i could gt nth done. So i decided to sign up alone bt den der was no vacancy alr. Also, I seriously dunno wad to do wif my job. My frens, my parents & myself, wad shld i do? This is de first time i tink losing weight is scary cz i haf been wanting to shed off sum flab in de past but nw i jus wan to maintain it. Pls no more losing weight. And i wan to gt thgs done.

Last sat was finalli chingay training in dunno how many wks. Abit inefficient. We alr planned to rch late by an hr bt in de end rch late by 2hrs cz i was de one who were later. Both of us slpt super late de nite b4 bcz i was hesitating if to quit. The lack of slp also caused me to spout rubbish & for yl's case she bcame quite bitchy. Actuali not reali spouting rubbish lar bt is de stuff i normalli wun say when i m mentally awake. Yl cant stand me bah. I tink in de chingay team's eyes, we r lyk some problematic ppl, not only nv punctual bt also dun pay attention. Whenever i haf work de day b4, i haf training bt when i m free de nite b4, there is no training. I was too tired to focus. I joined this activity full of enthusiasm bt i lost half de enthu-ness aft all de clashing & dragging of training. But after last sun fundraising i regained sum enthu-ness back cz i haf de chance to interact wif de exco & de vj junior i first met on sat. They r fun to talk to. I went fundraising half-dead too cz i left my workplace ard 6am due to sum stock checking problems. Reached hm lyk 7am. How would i noe de first train on sun would be so late. If i knew i wun insist to tk train.

My skin is uber awful now. Serious peeling. I m scared to go under de sun liao.

Why am i becoming more & more whiny? i cant stand myself.

I hope time will wash away this feeling cz i m unable to stop it wif my own will.